4th & Inches College Football Week 13- Austin Snyder- Raleigh NC

This is my personal favorite week of college football. Rivalry week.

Throw out the records. Throw out the expectations. Hell, throw out the analysis. Rivalry week is just chaos and anarchy. Like a wasteland simultaneously before and after the era of mankind - anything goes.

And speaking of rivals - I believe congratulations is owed to our favorite Gumpa.

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He pulled off a perfect week last week, correctly picking the winner of all 16 games. And for his efforts he was able to slide back into second. But again, it is rivalry week - expect the unexpected.

Florida State. Florida. Michigan. Ohio State. Alabama. Auburn. Clackers. Gumpa.

Who will seize twelve months of bragging rights? And who will hang their heads in shame as the final whistle blows?


 

1st & 9: Matchups for Top 10 Teams

1 Alabama at 6 Auburn - November 25th, 3:30 PM ET

 

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Austin: Bama has been unstoppable all season. We knew immediately after the FSU game that this would be their biggest test. And Auburn is in a perfect position to play spoiler, especially being at home. I’m not sure what the lines are coming out of Vegas, but I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable putting money on this game. I think Bama will edge it out in a relatively low scoring game (less than 30 points each), but I will not be at all surprised if I’m wrong.

    Final Pick: Bama

Clackers: While my gut says Bama, my idiotic brain says Auburn. Sure, Alabama is a great team but haven't really had a tough game this year. Auburn is so hot right now and playing at home will be a big advantage in this rivalry. Will be a close great game that may come time to a final play.

    Final Pick: Auburn

Gumpa: I guess it goes without saying that this is pretty much the marquee matchup this week. Auburn has a nice run, and they look good. That being said, Alabama is Alabama. They’ve still got one of the most talented teams in the country and the best coach. Gus Malzahn is a good coach, but he may be gone after this year. I expect Auburn to keep up, but Alabama finds a way to win this one on the road.

    Final Pick: Bama

 

2 Miami at Pittsburgh - November 24th, 12:00 PM ET

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Austin: Can you smelllllllllllllllllllll what the Canes are cookin’? About to serve Pittsburgh some piping hot strudel. Miami, you’re the People’s Champs right now, don’t screw it up.

    Final Pick: Miami

Clackers: Turnover chain, enough said.

    Final Pick: Miami

Gumpa: Welp, the best team in the ACC vs. one of the worst. This should be a great game. Orrr you can just watch Ohio State vs. Michigan and hope for the best. After I haven’t believed in Miami for most of the year, it would be hilarious if this is the game that they stumbled on. Don’t count on it.

    Final Pick: Miami

 

3 Clemson at 24 South Carolina - November 25th, 7:30 PM ET

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Austin: South Carolina is ranked? Who knew. Don’t worry, they won’t be come Tuesday.

    Final Pick: Clemson

Clackers: Is Spurrier still coaching? No? Clemson wins easily.

    Final Pick: Clemson

Gumpa: Wow, when was the last time this rivalry actually had a chance at being a good? I guess two years ago it was a good game, but that wasn’t because the Cocks were a good team. You gotta throw everything out in a rivalry game though and this year we don’t even need that asterisk. The Cocks have been a surprisingly good team this year. That being said, the Cocks won’t be a load when it comes to this game. Clemson beats the Cocks like Clackers on a Saturday night.

    Final Pick: Clemson

 

4 Oklahoma vs West Virginia - November 25th, 3:45 PM ET

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Austin: Soooo does Baker come in on the 2nd play or the 2nd series? Either way - ain’t gonna give the couch burners enough time to get a commanding lead.  Baker and the Sooner offense are gonna torch WVU’s secondary.

    Final Pick: Oklahoma

Clackers: Baker for Heisman. Old dick grabber will have a field day at WVU, once he actually gets on the field. Not starting for grabbing your crotch? I’d never have a sports career… if I were athletically gifted.

    Final Pick: Oklahoma

Gumpa: Speaking of Cocks, Baker Mayfield has been in the news lately. Seriously, the douche canoes that say they aren’t going to vote for him for the Heisman are just looking for a reason not to. Dude is the best player in college football. Yeah, there’s Barkley, Love, Lamar Jackson and whomever else, but really, they’re all just whomever elses. West Virginia has had a so-so year. They have a great offense, but OU’s is even better. And their defense is hot garbage. If you’re giving up 30 points a game to teams not named Oklahoma, then I don’t like your chances of keeping Baker and the boys under 35 or 40, especially at Norman.

    Final Pick: Oklahoma

 

5 Wisconsin at Minnesota - November 25th, 3:30 PM ET

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Austin: #fucktheBig10

    Final Pick: Fucking Wisconsin

Clackers: Fleck just got extended through 2023 for going 5-6 this year?! Minnesota is just used to losing at this point I guess.

    Final Pick: Wisconsin

Gumpa: Wisconsin in another snooze fest. I hope they go undefeated, win the Big 10 and then get snubbed for the playoffs. The Battle for Paul Bunyan’s Axe (formerly a slab of bacon) is the most-played rivalry in D1 college football. Wisconsin hasn’t had the lead in the series in over 100 years. I think that with the series tied, that changes this year. Wisconsin might have a terrible schedule, but they are good enough to win this one.

    Final Pick: Wisconsin

 

7 Georgia at Georgia Tech - November 25th, 12:00 PM ET

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Austin: Georgia is all but biding their time until that SEC title. If they want into the playoffs, they need some help. Unless they beat the hell out of whoever they face - Bama or Auburn (again). They probably shouldn’t look past Georgia Tech, but I don’t see ol’ Wing T stunning the Dawgs this weekend.

    Final Pick: Georgia

Clackers: Yeah not much of a rivalry here, Georgia is too good, and Tech is muff cabbage.

    Final Pick: Georgia

Gumpa: Yeah, jk. Lol.

Final Pick: Georgia

 

8 Notre Dame at 21 Stanford - November 25th, 8:00 PM ET

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Austin: I’m almost as torn here as I was between Bama and Auburn. Almost everything in me says Notre Dame, except this obnoxiously loud little part (not that part, grow up) yelling that Stanford is gonna pull some Stanford shit and ruin Notre Dame’s day. But like I do with any other feeling or emotion, I’m going to ignore that sumbitch and push it way deep down inside until it dies.

    Final Pick: Notre Dame

Clackers: Pac-12 is still overrated and Notre Dame show no signs of weakness since losing to Miami. Sure, the cross-country trip on a holiday weekend can be tough but Stanford does not match up well against the Irish.

    Final Pick: Notre Dame

Gumpa: #fuckthePac12 Being an Independent is stupid. Just go ahead and cost yourself a spot in the college playoff. Join the fucking ACC already. But they still win, and it means nothing.

    Final Pick: Notre Dame

 

9 Ohio State at Michigan - November 25th, 12:00 PM ET

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Austin: Yawn. #fucktheBig10

    Final Pick: Ohio State

Clackers: Fuck you Urban, you team is garbage and gets ranked high because of your name, not your talent and abilities. I hate you and everything you stand for.

    Final Pick: Michigan

Gumpa: Blah blah blah rivalry game.

    Final Pick: Ohio State

 

10 Penn State at Maryland - November 25th, 3:30 PM ET

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Austin: If the committee is going to insist on putting these Big 10 teams in the Top 10 - we can keep this hashtag rolling to infinity, and beyond. #fucktheBig10

    Final Pick: Penn State

Clackers: Zero fucks given.

    Final Pick: Penn State

Gumpa: Penn State misses the CFP again. Boohoo.

    Final Pick: Penn State

 

 

2nd & 3: Sleeper Matchups

 

20 Memphis vs ECU - November 25th, 12:00 PM ET

Austin: As the season winds down, I was trying to pick a conference that we hadn’t covered much, but we’ve actually done a decent job of at least having some representation from each throughout the season. So, I opted for a local favorite that we haven’t talked about much this year, because we haven’t had a reason. ECU is a dumpster fire. Memphis may hang 70 on them and give up 6. No quarter? More like no chance.

    Final Pick: Memphis

Clackers: Oof, ECU is just awful, and Memphis already wrapped up their division in the AAC. Break game for them before facing the winner of USF v UCF next week for the Conference Title.

    Final Pick: Memphis

Gumpa: ECU is bad. Memphis isn’t that good. ECU is bad.

    Final Pick: Memphis

15 UCF vs USF - November 24th, 3:30 PM ET

Austin: I’m glad one of us picked this game. Neither of these teams has gotten the credit they deserve from the CFP. Not that UCF should be in playoff contention, but I do think they should be closer than Wisconsin - as I outlined last week. This should be a surprisingly good game, but I’m gonna take UCF rounding out an undefeated regular season.

    Final Pick: UCF

Clackers: Two reasons I picked this game: A) winner goes to the Conference Title game to play Memphis, as stated above and 2) UCF has a chance to go undefeated and pending other results possibly shake up the playoff rankings? This will be a good game to watch regardless to the conference implications and the high scoring offenses. UCF, I have faith, will run the table.

    Final Pick: UCF

Gumpa: As my man Tyler says, UCF wins by more points than plays Baker Mayfield sits out. So that could be as little as four points, but they still win.

    Final Pick: UCF

 

13 Washington State at 17 Washington - November 25th, 8:00 PM ET

Austin: I had been looking forward to this game since early on in the season. I really had Washington pegged to be the cream of the Pac-12 crop. The Kings in the North. My, my how they have failed me. Despite the stumbles - these are still two very talented teams with some serious weapons on each side. Should be a heck of a ball game. I’d give the edge on defense to Washington State, but Washington on offense. Edge gets a little wider for being at home. I think U-Dub picks up the Dub, but it won’t be easy, and it will be close.

    Final Pick: Washington

Clackers: Pac-12 garbage IMO. Mike Leach is a better coach and will find a way to win, even on the road in this rivalry game.

    Final Pick: Washington State

Gumpa: Mike Leach is a beast. Washington has some injuries in their secondary that WSU will capitalize on. I think the upset is on.

    Final Pick: WSU

 

3rd & Long: Goin’ for broke

FSU at Florida - November 25th, 12:00 PM ET

Austin: I know these two assholes are going to pick Florida just to fuck with me, but I don’t even care. This is the most important game of every season to me. Despite the utter dog shit that has been the Noles season, a win over those jort wearing, mouth breathing, gator stuffers will redeem the entire year. Trump promised to drain the swamp. He hasn’t. But Jimbo will… again.

    Final Pick: QUEUE THE WARCHANT

Clackers: I absolutely despise Florida, but love seeing Austin squirm.

    Final Pick: Florida

Gumpa: They are both not good. But Florida State is slightly less not good.

    Final Pick: FSU

25 Virginia Tech at Virginia - November 24th, 8:00 PM ET

Austin: It’s the season finale of Dawson’s Creek, can Joey forgive Pacey and take him back?

Wait… are we not still making Josh Jackson jokes? Fiiiiiiiiiine. Dicks.

UVA hasn’t been good at football since… ever? I’m legitimately asking, but I also legitimately don’t care.

    Final Pick: VT

Clackers: Tech has had a few disappointments this season but look strong going into next season under a young QB who has played well this year. Virginia is just bottom barrel ACC trash in football, Hokies should fare well in this.

    Final Pick: Virginia Tech

Gumpa: Virginia is an underrated football team. Who cares?

    Final Pick: VT

NC State vs UNC - November 25th, 3:30 PM ET

Austin: On paper, we should win this game. UNC has been terrible all year. Every year. They are the worst. BUT. It is rivalry week, so throw the rest of the season out the window. It would be the most NC State shit ever to lose to UNC after the season the Pack has had. And it could easily happen. But I just cannot bring myself to pick UNC to win. It makes my balls itch.

Good thing we aren’t carrying this series into NCAA Basketball… We’d be talking so much shit about UNC-CHeat every week. And the best part? No fear of reprisal. You know their basketball team can barely read…

GTHC

    Final Pick: GO PACK!

Clackers: Ok, I know I will get hated on for this but trust me, I’ve been a State fan for a while I know how this story goes. We start out the season well with promise, lose a tough game and nose dive at the end of the season. Two weeks ago, I said we will go 1-2 in our last 3 games and I stand by that (and have a chance to be right). We will find a way to choke and lose this at home to a terrible depleted UNC team.

    Final Pick: UNC - #FireDoeren

Gumpa: I still have that bet going and I need State to lose. Also, I need State to lose so they cannot extend Doeren because he sucks more dick than Jenna Jameson in a college football locker room. Can we just lose this one for the love that is all that is holy? Not that I believe in that shit, buttfuck it, it can’t hurt.

    Final Pick: UNC #FireDoeren

 

This is it folks. The last regular season edition of 4th & Inches. Thank you to everyone who has read the blog, especially if you’ve been following along all season. If you’ve enjoyed (or if you’ve hated it) let us know. And if there is other content you’d be interested in seeing from your favorite shitpigs, let us know that too. We’re here for you.

And if you’re already starting to miss us - don’t worry, my sweet, sweet summer children. We’ll have a special conference championship edition for you next week. And we couldn’t not shove our opinions down your throat on who we think the committee will select and snub. Plus, we’ll have a bowl game and playoff special. So really, the best is yet to come? Only one way to find out.

Austin considers himself an adopted Raleigh native, having lived here for almost fifteen years. A graduate of the NC State Poole College of Management he currently works in finance for a Raleigh-based contract research organization. In his spare time he can be found at the gym learning Gracie Jiu Jitsu, or working on his startup, Osprey Small Business Consulting. He also enjoys traveling and trying new, local eateries with his wife, Kassy.